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Wednesday, 1 July 2015

RELATIONSHIPS | THE ADDICTIVE ART OF TINDERING

I never thought there would be a day where I would log onto my blog and say/type so boldly that I use a dating website/app, without feeling embarrassed or desperate or like a complete loser. 

Apart from a brief stint on Plenty Of Fish back in the day (stumbled upon accidentally whilst suspecting an ex boyfriend of mine to be cheating on me and finding out that yes, yes he was. His success on Plenty Of Fish and my new found rage for revenge led me to try out the website on and off for a good while and was mildly successful), I'm not a massive fan of dating websites. It's not that I'm against them either, it's just on the whole for me, it just seems like such a faffabout.

You log on, spend ages creating the perfect profile and choosing the perfect photos, sift through messages most of which are from weirdo's, sometimes find a few cute people etc. Then you have to keep the conversation going on something that is ultimately short lived - if you don't arrange a date soon, chances are someone else will catch their (or your!) eye. Then when you eventually do arrange a date, they usually live miles away or take you out and then admit AFTERWARDS they don't want a relationship and you're back to square one. IT'S JUST SO MUCH EFFORT. I mean I completely agree you should be open minded and actively dating when you are single because if you're not looking for the one, dating can be a lot of fun. But sometimes I just really can't be bothered.

Inspire Magazine Online - UK Fashion, Beauty & Lifestyle blog | Relationships | The Addictive Art of Tindering; Inspire Magazine; Inspire Magazine Online; Tinder
BEEP BEEP BEEP hot rockstars where are you all?!
Edit - I do get matches and such, the app just sometimes takes a while to get going ;)
Tinder on the other hand, even though it may be shallow, takes all the fuss out of that all. I mean yes, I suppose you still have to keep the conversation going and arrange a date ASAP, but on the whole, it makes the first phase of dating so much easier. I'm kind of biased about the whole theme of Tinder, considering you're pretty much judging someone on their looks. On one hand, I think looks definitely are not everything. I rate personality highly over looks and in the past have gone out with really good looking people then found myself disliking them because of their personality, or dating people I wouldn't look at twice in the street but finding them more and more attractive the more I get to know them or find I have in common with them. There is just nothing like that feeling you get when you click really well with someone.

On the other hand, it definitely takes the whole time wasting out of dating. Let's be frank here - how many times have you met someone who seems really nice, who you get on well with and find kind of cute and then find yourself just not being able to like them that way? How many times have you phased them out and stopped replying to their texts simply because you don't have a reason for not wanting to see them again - because something just isn't there? I've even been guilty of this once or twice on Tinder when I'm aimlessly swiping left and right - sometimes I have to pause and think, hold on, this guy is cute, but if he messages me will I actually take the time to respond or arrange a date?

Sure, it makes the Tinder dating pool smaller, but it also makes it a better pool overall.

Cool use of that quote there, eh. (Sort of).

I personally don't think I'll find the love of my live on Tinder, even though I'm not looking. I tend to believe that when I'm ready, someone will come along probably when I'm least expecting it and in the most random of ways.

But Tinder is definitely super fun and can be successful for dating if you're willing to put the effort in. Even if I'm not looking for anything in particular, I can't deny it's nice to have a bit of attention, to see someone match with me or to finish work and find messages from cute boys. And there are much less weirdos on here then Plenty Of Fish. 

I have had a little of success on Tinder myself, more so when I've actively been using it and willing to go on dates. Just late last year I met someone on Tinder and ended up dating them for about six months - a first, for me. Normally I either go on one date with someone and we never see them again or I end up seeing someone a lot and getting into a relationship with them. To be able to be so laid back and not worrying about where something is going, to seeing someone over the course of six months, not constantly but having really fun dates when we did, was actually really nice for once. And I suppose I have Tinder to thank for that!

I think the best part about Tinder is how I can just say to my friends 'hey, this dude messaged me on Tinder the other night....' and just talk about it openly. I remember the days when if you even spoke to someone online you were considered weird!

Tinder is just so socially acceptable these days that no matter how far things go with someone, you're perfectly happy to tell people you met on Tinder because it's just the norm now. Even some of my favourite rockstars have been spotted on there! Although this kind of baffles me a bit because how can a sexy rockstar struggle to find a girl and have to resort to Tinder instead?

Nonetheless, despite the new phase of dick picks constantly popping up on people's stories (men have become a tad more classier, now choosing to share their obvious package in tight boxers rather then whipping it out. Well done guys, that's totally going to work...) I think overall if you're a single pringle who's ready to mingle then you should definitely be on Tinder right now.

BRB, I'm now off to search for and swipe right on all my favourite rockstars..!


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