Last night, at about 11:30pm as I hastily put together a home made salad I probably won't even like for my lunch at work tomorrow, it occurred to me that it can be bloody exhausting trying to be the person I want to be. I want to be healthy. I want to be money wise. I want to be more confident. I want to be more blase when it comes to the opposite sex and less 'Oh my god I'm in love again' with every single rocker boy I meet. I want to wake up early, go to sleep early and feel like I've done every damn thing I've wanted to in the few hours we get every day.
And sometimes I tend to forget that it's pretty bloody impossible to be my ideal self. If I could spend every day (okay, every day-to-day working day, let's not get onto how I'd spend my time if I didn't have to work because we'll be here forever) the way I wanted to, this is how my daily routine would go.
- Wake up at 6am to the sound of a relaxing song that wakes me up softly, like the acoustic version of The Maine's I Must Be Dreaming.
- Snooze for exactly 10 minutes just because I love my damn bed.
- Get up, get ready and do some early morning exercise! Maybe I'll go for a run up the park or do some yoga to help prepare me for the day ahead.
- Finish my work out/yoga then have a long, luxurious shower to help wake me up for the day.
- Put on an uber stylish outfit - laid out the evening before off course - style my hair to perfection and make my makeup look entirely different then it did the day before. A new look every day please.
- Have breakfast. No further comments needed really because I just don't do breakfast, so simply having something to eat in the morning - absolutely anything - would already be a major step up in my life.
- Catch the bus on time and spend the journey catching up on local news and reading.
- Get into work and immediately begin a new project, keeping myself busy.
- DO EVERYTHING AT WORK THAT NEEDS DOING. Sort out that damned denim table. Keep all A Area's tidy to perfection. Follow every single customer around and refold every single item they pick up and throw back down carelessly, mere seconds after they do so. Clear rail constantly so there is always just one singular empty rail in the fitting room for customers to leave unwanted items. Stay in the fitting room like, always, so customers don't just leave their unwanted items on a pile on the floor, inside out, in each cubicle. Oh and do all this whilst actually serving customers too.
- Lunch time! Now I'll eat my ultra healthy meal, pre-made from the night before. Perhaps a tasty salad or maybe just some fruit. Hell, why I'm at it, why not throw in some nuts and raisins, courtesy of my Graze box that I pay for and only eat half of every fortnight.
- Back to work. Let's do every single thing that needs doing again. Maybe I'll also make sure to flirt with all the hotties that come into work too.
- Finish work. Catch up with any news on the way home. Arrive home. Offer to make dinner for once and do all housework/washing whilst it is cooking.
- Eat dinner.
- Blog. Read. Write. Watch a movie. Have a hot date. Party with my friends. Marry a rock star. Schedule all blog posts for the following week. All this in one evening please.
- Before bed, prepare lunch for tomorrow and tomorrow's outfit too.
- Go to sleep at 10pm every night, getting at least 8 hours sleep. Fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
|Proof of the one and only time I ACTUALLY made myself a salad for work. It was nasty, but that's because I have no common sense when it comes to food and 'drizzled' too much oil on it.|
To make things easier, let's just all agree that my ideal day sounds amazing, right?! I would exercise, eat healthy, catch up on all blogging, be superwoman at work and even get a decent's night sleep. If every day could go like that, I think life would be pretty damn perfect (and a little boring too). Instead, let's have a look at how I've actually spent most days this week.
- My alarm goes off at 9am, usually playing a loud rock song that blasts my eardrums. I press snooze. Then again. And again. Eventually I roll out of bed at about 9:45 and then realize with a start I only have 15 minutes to get ready and get out of the house. On some rare days I can't even face leaving my bed so early, so I get up at 10:20 and get a taxi to work instead, wasting more money. Just so I can get an extra half hour or so of sleep. I don't exercise. I don't try out new makeup. My hair ALWAYS looks the same.
- I spend my whole bus/taxi journey to work catching up with social media which is so boring.
- I get to work and spend the whole day getting annoyed at customers.
- I attempt to eat a healthy lunch. Sometimes I manage it. Sometimes I look at a lunch I've actually managed to prepare the night before for once and then instead buggar off to McDonalds.
- I get home, have dinner. Sometimes I blog, or watch a movie, or read. On the rare occasion, I might actually have enough energy to socialize and leave the house.
- Sometimes I make lunch for the next day.
- I go to sleep usually between the hours of 11:30pm or 3am. I can't sleep. I watch Netflix until I finally drift off.
THE TWO DAYS COULD NOT BE MORE OPPOSITE and on paper (okay, on blog rather) that looks rather depressing. Until, yknow, I remember I'm human. And that I can't do everything at once, as much as I'd like to.
So instead, I try to spend my time reminding myself that I'm not a super hero and if I truly want to better myself, I have to learn to compromise and focus on the little things that I CAN do. Like not over sleeping and unnecessarily wasting money on a taxi to work, or preparing a healthy lunch for work the next day when I can remember, or at least three times a week minimum. It doesn't have to be every day and sometimes it's kind of okay to have junk food now and then too. As for exercise, don't even get me started because even I haven't worked that one out yet.
So if you're fretting over failing at your New Years Resolutions already or, like me, you just want to be the best you that you can be, calm the f*ck down and remember that you're only human and that if each day went perfectly to plan, your life would be pretty damn boring. And maybe remember that hey, if you fail, we're all in the same boat as you. Just take a deep breathe and focus on one thing at a time. Trust me. Just taking the time out to make myself a healthy lunch last night was actually more than enough and made me feel like I really had my shit together for once. Well, for the next few hours anyway...
Making the small effort is half the battle, even if you don't succeed ;)